The Holy Spirit can be grieved and the Devil given opportunity when you are in conflict if you respond sinfully. On the other hand, the Devil’s scheme for you and the other party can be “grieved” and the Holy Spirit given opportunity to work in the conflict if you submit to handling it His way. The Bible gives many verses to help you and I know how we should handle conflict so that we become an effective spiritual influence in conflict. If you will submit to the Spirit’s Wisdom, you will find the Spirit’s Power at work in your conflict. That is what this study is all about. You will need to come back to these commands again and again depending on how hard the conflict is and how much your flesh has been trained to resist the Spirit in conflict. Study, submit and live.
Each passage below gives a different way God calls you to respond to the many different situations when in a conflict. Prayerfully look over the following Scriptures and first, note what God instructs us to do and/or to seek, especially when we are in conflict. Then, for each passage write out why this way of responding to conflict is best (based on the passage when possible). Finally, for each passage, give one specific example of when you need to apply this spiritual response to your present conflict (by words and actions) or share a specific example when you have failed to apply it and so grieved the Spirit. If you have failed, use “Four Memos When Seeking Biblical Forgiveness” as you seek to make this right. Remember the Spirit is given opportunity to work, when you obey.
There are 26 passages below. Seek to work through four verses at a time – for a minimum of 20 minutes each time. Pray for the Spirit to enlighten your mind and open your heart to His conviction and correction. Choose three passages you will specifically hide in your heart and use to reprove sinful reactions in the conflict and to compel Christ-like responses. Once this study is done begin using the “Nightly Journal” to keep applying these heart-changing truths to your conflict. Do this in connection with godly accountability when possible.
1 Peter 2:12 Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.
1 Peter 2:15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.
1 Peter 3:1-2 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
1 Peter 3:7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:14-16 14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, 15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 16 and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.
2 Corinthians 2:14-16 14 But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. 15 For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; 16 to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things?
2 Timothy 2:24-26 24The Lord\’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, 25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.
Galatians 6:8,9 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.
Proverbs 15:1,2 1A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. 2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly.
Proverbs 29:20, 22, 23 20Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.22An angry man stirs up strife, And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. 23A man\’s pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor.
Romans 12:17-21 17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, \”Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,\” says the Lord. 20 \”But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty,give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.\” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Ephesians 4:25-27 25Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each oneof you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. 26Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27and do not give the devil an opportunity.
Ephesians 4:29-30 29Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Colossians 3:8-9 8But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. 9Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices,
1 Peter 3:8,9 8To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; 9not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
Romans 14:13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this-not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother\’s way
Romans 15:1,2,14 1 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. 2 Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. 14 And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another.
Proverbs 11:29 He who troubles his own house will inherit wind, And the foolish will be servant to the wisehearted.
Matthew 7:3-5 3 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother\’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, \’Let me take the speck out of your eye,\’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother\’s eye.
Proverbs 18:13 He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.
Proverbs 16:21 The wise in heart will be called understanding. And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
Proverbs 10:19 When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.
James 1:19,20 19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;20for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
James 3:13, 17-18 1 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 17But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3 1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Psalm 37:1-4 1Do not fret because of evildoers, Be not envious toward wrongdoers. 2For they will wither quickly like the grass And fade like the green herb. 3Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. 4Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.